Summer BABY

Whoa hey there summer. Its so nice to see you. I really really missed you. Oh you want to do something? okay, I will see if I can fit that in :) So hello my darling blog readers!! How are you? Oh me? oh I am dong fantastic thanks for asking. Ah but yes. Schools out. Summers in!!! So happy. Sleeping in. Swimming. Tan skin. Hot guys. ah yeah. Plus thats whole staying up late thing, I love it. I am the night owl. Well thats all I had to say. Summer baby here I come!! *Splash* XOXO

I just threw my journal across the room because the contents of it pissed me off. That page I wrote today had to be the best entry in it and it took me 30 seconds. All of those girls said I was cute and pretty. For once I'll agree.

• I am pretty when I do what I want
• I am pretty when I don't care
• I am pretty when I TRY
• I am pretty when I am something
• I am pretty when I control myself
• I am pretty when I am honest
• I am pretty when I smile

Right now, I am freaking pretty.

XOXO

Meet the freaking love of my life

Be afraid

Its Lestrange

I guess I've been replaced. Well thats great. I've got the steady friends Alina, and Savannah, Christine, etc. But... uh great. Its just a bit strange. So, who wants a bestfriend cause she is open.

I would rather be

I would rather be:

While:

With these kids:

I love the cliche love songs that are so meaningless and pointless. They make me smile :) So lets see... hows the life going? Its going swell. Thanks for asking. So lets see, oh yes, 3 more days till summer!!! And then I am off to camp eeep yay! :) I am pretty psyched. Ah so on Friday, I put a little sign on Savannah's locker that said "I love you Savannah Banana!!!" I wonder if she liked it... hm? Umm so I stayed the night at Kay's house, that was purty fun. We took a bunch of funny pictures, worked on our new vlog, The Kay and Tessa Rae show (coming soon) and we just chilled and talked. Good life :) Then Saturday we watched Dan in Real Life. I love that movie :) Then Kay came over to my house so I could show her my new shoes (pictures soon to be posted) Well I believe thats it. Love everysingle one of you that takes the time to read this :) XOXO

I would Rather be

I would rather be watching:

While eating:

with:

Taking this from Kay Cause I want to :)

I would rather be:

Eating:

With:

And these lovely ladies:

In case you are reading this

Dear You, I want you to know that I want you to smile. I want you to not worry about the stupid little things and I really want you to realize that I am always here for you. I want you to realize that I want to be that best friend that you can talk to whenever you need me. And I want you to know that you can trust me. I want you to know that I will always be there to put a smile on your face whenever you need it. I want you to know that I love you. XOXO, Tessa

Is it all worth it? I mean, I try, I try, I try but... do you try? I have debated so many times wether to just give up or keep trying. Is it even at all worth it? *Dig* *Dig* *Dig* *Dig* Oh hey look, this hole I am in got a bit deeper.

Savannah can ask what her faults are. I can't. I am scared of the answer. I have had 8th grade blown up in my face too many times. The days of just crying and crying. The days of just questioning myself over and over. The days when I was scared to look in a mirror cause I thought it might crack. Those days when people were against me for no reasons. It makes me so angry. The days when Savannah was the only person I trusted. The days when I wrote so many music notes that I needed to buy more notebooks. The days when I sat with my head down finishing my homework 30 minutes before everyone else. The days when I cried. I am scared to hear the answer. I am scared to ask the question.

Ke$ha

Ke$ha... I know its so cliche but hey i like it. But anywho... its brings back such good times. Just like the little random moments. Like Kay, coming over and spending 3 hours at my house just talking with me and doing absolutely nothing. Then just attacking eachother with shoes and Angus (the cow). Yeah I love life. I love my friends. You are all so special to me. Thank you for everything you do. XOXO

Kay

Things change. Its all planned. I know. I know. I know. ITS SUCKS. I dealt with it too. Trust me, it really just plain sucks. But, its all planned. And we follow it. We walk through it, we run through it sometimes. We smile through it, and then we break down on the bedroom floors and cry through it. But the reasons for our tears are not the exceptions. They are just the distracting bumps on the road. We trip over the bumps. We might get some scratches and bruises, then we stand up, brush ourselves off and keep on going. Cause there is a pretty little new fresh cookie waiting at the end :) Just for you. Trust me. Things will get better. Your just at the low, just wait, swipe the slate and mind clean and just stand up again. It will all get better. Afterall, Summer is almost here :) I love you so much girl. Forever and Always XOXO Lobster :)

Green

These are the photos I don't put on facebook. The ones with a bit of depth and more meaning behind them. Well here you go. Here is the picture. To the few privlidged fans I may just have.

In case any of you were wondering

Here is what Tessa is doing this summer!!! Well at least wants to do :)

Plans for my fantastic summer

1. Get bangs with Kay (eek nervous about that one)
2. Do an all nighter
3. Go to Phoenix and take photo
4. Go to San Diego with Kay (psyched!)
5. Have an amazing 4L year at camp
6. Have a sleepover with Alina and Banana
7. Write letters to Kayla and Kylie
8. Read the Hunger Games
9. Do a makeup blog with Kay
10. Watch the sun rise or set
11. Learn to Slolum skii. (sp?)
12. Go Motorcycle riding
13. P.E. Reunion ♥
14. Get a for real tan
15. Go on an escape trip with Kay
16. Cross something off the bucket list
17. Go up to Utah with Maddy and Kay
18. Harry Potter Marathon
19. Go to New Mexico with Kay
20. Get together with some old elemetary school friendsAdd ons:
21. Go to the lake
22. Sleep on the trampoline
23. Sing and dance in the rain during monsoon season

Hello darlin

Sooo today. Eh today was fine. But you know what I did. I decided not to care and it was fantastical. As I saw you walking away... i just talked to someone else and had a delightful conversation. You aren't the only one. And to her, you aren't the only guy either. Have a great life. But uh yeah :) cheer was great. No drops um... good job kiddos. I love you all so much. Oh and Kay came to practice!!! ahhh she just walked in and I was just so excited and happy :) She really needs to go to my school. Yeah really. But yes, soooo great to see her. You really brightened up my day. And i got the big hug I was wanting, even though I smelled like a sweaty cheerleader. So yeah thats it. Love you all very much :) XOXO P.S. to Kay, I am also so thankful for last summer. Thanks for inviting me over to your house for that 'end of P.E. summer thing' Thats what got us going. And we both took that step. I am so thankful for you. I love you so much and I will always be here for you. Anyday anytime. Love you

Make your own wishes. Or just make your own stars.

Now a Days

Now a days, I don't know, I guess all I can do is compare it to a little can of soda sitting in the fridge. It just sits there, all fresh, but then it start to just go dull and lose its good taste and flavor. And the only bubbles you can get from it is if you shake it and put some effort into it. So... Tessa is the can of soda sitting in the back of the fridge... Great. Aren't I just fabulous at analogies?

We promised

Tessa: you are the only exception <3

Kay: Ahh no, I love it! Tessa: yep :) i promise lets make a vow right now we will only say that once to one person Kay: "You are the only exception"? Tessa: yep cause they are the only one they are the only exception. cause the others... the others will have somehow hurt us and we will leave Kay: OK! True dat. Promise!!! Tessa: I promise you, Kay Shaeffer, I will never say 'you are the only exception', except to the person I marry cause that will be the only time i mean it. Kay: I promise you, Tessa Patterson, I will never say 'you are the only exception' except to my true love. <3 Tessa: :) Pinky promise? Kay: PINKY PROMISE! I did it to the air just now :) Tessa: same here we are serious about those Kay: Heck yes we are. We are for real. XOXO

ATTENTION

ATTENTION!!! NEED NEW COOKIES Must be:

• Hot
• Soft
• Steamy
• And lots of extra chocolate chips
• Warm
• Fresh

XOXO

I like pictures??

Somebody loved . Such a sweet song ahhh such a great night I kinda like this one a lot :) I love her. She is one of the greatest friends. Love you forever

Inspired by the song Everlasting Friend by Blue October. Truely inspirational.

XOXO

To everyone

I don't know what to say. I am so sorry. I am so sorry that had to happen. I am sorry for the loss and the devistation. Its happened to all of us. I am just, I feel so stupid cause all I can say is I'm sorry but it doesn't do any good or help the situation. You will be missed. You are loved. I don't know you but my heart swells. Thank you. I love you. XOXO

Got to write this one down.

So its been a great night. No really, like one of the best nights ever. So lets start it off. Maddy P. came over to see something with her prom dress. We hung out for a bit. Then did some good shopping :))) Then me and Kay headed off to babysitting. Those kids are too cute. They gave me and Kay nicknames. So I a Tessa Ham, and she is Kay bologna. Pretty amazing right. So then I did some work on Kay's prom makeup. It took me sometime but we got it right :) she looked uber gorgeous. Then we went to the church parking lot and had an epic dance party in the street. Yeah we are kinda cool. Then we went, got some cash, then we went to Fry's at 10:30. So there were these really cute guys right? So I say to one of them, as he is walking away, "hey, your pretty cute." So the checkout lady yells at me "Go do something about it!!!" Life saying right there :) Then we went to Jack in the Box. We spoke in Australian accents and asked for just spoons. Purely spoons. He was confused :) But then as we drove away (with our spoons) Me and Kay yell out 'Oh snap I dropped my trousers!!!' That's all you need to say in any awkward situation. Lets see... oh yeah then we went to my school and sat by the bleachers and ate our ice cream. It was fantastic. Then we just parked and yelled things into the sky. Then... yes, parked across the street from my house and we just talked. It was great. I guess we decided that... there are things that just don't matter. And love isn't all you need. You need more. I said that was maybe the 4th necessity on the 'need' list. We said you need family, friends, knowledge and then, well i guess then we through love right there. I mean, we figured you should love someone, such as friends or family. But you don't need someone there. You can just be the roaming nomad. Its a good profession. It was kinda nice to just get it all out :) Well that's all. I will put up some pictures. I love you all truly and forever. XOXO

So today

Eh, yeah today kinda was horrible... mutual was fun though. So was cheer. And Savannah. It has its ups and down. How bout we start this off bad and then... we will finish good. I wake up, neck hurts, eh not bad. Super tired though plus, I prefer dreams to bitter reality. Yeah, freaking bitter. Went to seminary eh, it was okay. I don't know nothing special. Harden heart I guess? I did kind of put some stone barriers on it. Do I knock them down? Asking Kay Shaeffer, do I knock down the stone barriers or keep them up? I mean, BoM softens but... in general I do wear an armour of stone typically. Please answer. Went to Language... eh okay. Gave a presentation. Freaking fantastic. Uh yeah. Math, dear math I am sick of you. it was fine i was just annoyed from English. Oh theatre. Theatre was actually fun. We visited Emily and Kelly... i am such a little 10 minute ditcher :) I kinda was just pissed off but it was funny. I talked to my Savannah Banana which made everything better. I love you darling. Then lets see, oh the rest of my day. Hm... Sluts. Okay, thats all. Self explanatory. The piss me off. Thats all. Okay, then visited kelly, I kinda yelled at her in Alina. Thanks for listening my darling girls :) I love you. Them um... science. I made Alex make me laugh. He did a sufficient job. Thanks buddy. Mr. Pond yelled at us... i laughed and then i think i mummbled I am sorry mixed with CALM DOWN. oh um then cheer. That was fun :) Me, Nichole and Alexann the reps of the Jv team. I think we might attempt single basing tomarrow. I am freaking excited!! oh so, Tessa proved her ninja abilities today. So this group is stunting, she begins to fall, Tessa sprints, catches the girl... i was on the otherside of the room. I am a beast. She would've hit the floor without me. Yeah, made my LIFE. Oh and mutual, we visited the elderly. They are cute. this one lady... just cute :) She said she plays bingo, I told her to tell me when she plays cause I am feirce at bingo. She was excited :) So thats about it. See... Bad to GOOD. Great thats all XOXO P.S. Highlight of the moment. I am over it. Over it.

That helps

"Take the message that I'm picking up my chin at last." "I might crumble. I might take the fall again (Still missing you)" I pick up my chin, I fall, but then I pick it right up again. Higher than it ever was. And I like it that way. The view of the skies or the setting sun is so much more appealing than my unpainted toes or the treaded on cement. Yep I picked myself up cause I realized, that the people in the above picture ^^^^ the one on the title page will always be there for me. Alina will always be there to fight for me. Savannah will always be there to pick me up and listen. Kay will always be there to listen and understand. Jack will always be there whenever I decide to randomly vent to him. Mackenzie will be there when I just randomly decide to do something about a situation. Sarah B. will always be there to just care and worry about me. Saskia will always be there when I need here healing music to pick me up. Sarah will always be there when I randomly decide to call her and update her on my complete life. Cj will always be there to just help me see things a bit clearer. Luke will be there to help me laugh and make things better. Maddy will always be there to listen to me and let me yell. All of you will be there for me. Even when it was just those little things that you did for me. I took notice of it. It helped so much. And I love you for it. And I, I will always be there for me and you. XOXO